A 45-MINUTE drive to work can be a burden. Should she quit or stick with it?

Dear Marilyn,

I was recently hired to work at a really nice, upscale department store. I had applied for the job several times before they called me for the interview. I was so excited, as I have always wanted to work for this store.

When I was being interviewed, the manager expressed concerns because I live about 45 miles from the store. He said that he was worried that the drive would be unmanageable. I assured him that was not the case. I knew when I accepted the position that the job would be a pretty long drive. However, I was so excited to be hired that I thought it really wouldn’t be a big deal.

The first few days of work weren’t too bad. I was so happy to be there, that I didn’t mind the drive. But, now it is taking its toll on me. Depending on traffic, it takes me between an hour, and an hour and a half to get to work. I am spending much more of my paycheck on gas then I expected. Add that to the stress of worrying about being late for work, and I have to admit that I am very unhappy with the situation.

I was just offered another job right near my home. It won’t be quite as much fun, but in the long run, I will make more money, since I won’t have the gas bill. Also, I won’t have the wear and tear on my car that comes from a long commute. I really love the job, but it just isn’t worth it to me.

I don’t know what to do, because this is exactly what the manager was afraid of when I interviewed, and I had told him that it would be fine. I hate to go back on my word. But, this just isn’t worth it to me. I don’t know what to do. Shall I stay where I am, or should I take the new job?

Signed, Confused Worker

Dear Confused Worker,

   My advice is that you take the new job. However, you also need to learn from the mistake you made here. You need to learn not to commit to something unless you are sure that you can follow through.

   You owe your boss an apology, and two weeks notice. Let him know that it turns out that he was right, and the drive really is an expensive burden to you.

   Apologize, and explain that you were wrong, and that you are really sorry to have let him down. Then, let him know that you would be glad to work for two more weeks if that is acceptable to him.

   He may not require you to work that long, but you need to sincerely offer to do it.

   Good luck at the new job, and take the lessons learned from this mistake. Mistakes are not a bad thing when we learn from them.

Dear Marilyn,

My boyfriend and I recently tried to purchase our first home. We were denied the loan. We have good credit, and we earn enough money for the monthly payments, but we don’t have enough money saved for the down payment.

Now we are living in a noisy apartment, and I don’t like it one bit. We are basically paying the same amount in monthly rent as we would pay for our own home. My parents have enough money to assist us with the down payment, but they are not going to help us with it. They think that we need to handle this on our own.

I also don’t think that they want us to buy a home together unless we are married. I consider that very old-fashioned thinking. My parents and I have always had a very good relationship until now. What can I do or say to help change their minds on this one?

Signed, Forever Renting?

Dear Forever Renting?

I’m, sorry, but you are going to get no support from me on this one. I am in 100 percent agreement with your parents. I also do not think that young couples that are living together should buy a home. If you should break up, the complications of homeownership add on to an already very difficult situation.

I don’t recommend that you buy a house together. However, if you choose to do it, you need to use your own money, and not rely on a gift from your folks. If you are adult enough to make this decision, then you must be adult enough to pay your own way.

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