LOUD NEIGHBORS need to think about others.

Dear Marilyn,

I am so tired right now, while I am writing this letter to you. Please help me.

I have a very noisy neighbor. I live in an apartment building and my upstairs neighbor has kids who sound like little monsters. The parents are always yelling at them, and that makes a lot of noise too.

When I come home from work, I want to relax, but I can’t. I turn up my TV very loud, in an attempt to drown out the noise, but that doesn’t work.

I have even bought headphones, but I can still hear muffled yet annoying sounds. Oh, and it doesn’t get better when it gets later into the evening. They are the only noise that I hear when it is time to sleep.

All I want is some sleep and some time to relax and enjoy dinner and my time off. I have spoken to the manager of the apartments, and she has asked them to quiet down. However, that only lasts for about two days, and then it is back to the normal ruckus and noise.

Please help me.

Signed, Almost Too Tired To Type

Dear Almost Too Tired To Type,

Wow, those parents upstairs need a lot of advice, but that is another question, for another column! Let’s focus on you and your issues.

You have done everything reasonable to address this issue. Unfortunately there is very little chance that they are going to change their behavior. They should be changing for their own piece of mind and way of life, and they have not. They will not change for you.

 So, one of you have two options. Either they will move away, or you should move to another apartment.

I suggest that you go back to the manager and have another frank discussion. This time be firm.

Let her know that you would either like to move to another apartment, or she must ask that family to leave, or you will be moving out.

 It is possible that she has had other complaints from other tenants as well. So, this may be the ultimate issue that will cause her to take real action.

 If there is not another apartment there that you like and is available, and she does not evict that family, then you should move.

 I know that is a lot of work and effort for something that is not of your own choice. However, in the long run, you will be much happier.

Dear Marilyn,

I have recently started a new job working in a Financial Advisors office. I do computer work and paperwork for them, and I do not work directly with the customers.

I got the job through my uncle’s friend. I work very hard, I am never late, and I never complain, and I get all of my work done on time. I feel as if I am doing a good job.

However, word has got back to my uncle that people at the office do not think that I am “vocal” enough. I am very shy, but this feedback surprised me.

I really don’t know how I can be more vocal when I am placed alone in an empty conference room to do my work.

What do you suggest that I do?

Signed, Too Shy but a Good Worker

Dear Too Shy but a Good Worker,

I am surprised that this feedback had to come through your uncle, and not by your manager or from a seasoned co worker. Perhaps they like you so much, that they were afraid of hurting your feelings. It certainly was not the best way for you to learn about this issue. However, it is time for you to work on it.

You are a manager’s dream, if all that you say about your work ethic is correct. You just need one more trait, and that is to be more outgoing.

This will help you not only at your current job, but at jobs that you may have in the future.

So, you have to put in as much effort at being more “vocal” as you have in the other areas of your job. Start by making sure that you say “hi” to you co workers when you come in each morning, and “goodbye” when you leave. A little small talk about their day or their plans for the evening would be great.

 I don’t know if you are eating your lunch and taking your breaks alone, but if you are, then keep your eyes open for someone that you can ask to go to lunch with you.

Also, get out of that empty conference room from time to time. Go to your boss, and ask if there are other projects or work that needs to be done. Let him or her know that you would love to work on something that may involve some of the other coworkers, for your own growth and development.

 I completely understand that, since you are a shy person, these suggestions will not be easy for you. However, like any new skill, this one will take practice. The more “vocal” you become at work, the easier it will become. Good luck. I have a feeling some very good things will be coming your way.

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