When did you get picked?

Think back, all you one-time boys and girls. Remember when you were barely tall enough to get on the really good rides at Disneyland.

In P.E. class or in the neighborhood park or playground, before any action took place came the underage version of the draft, and even the free agent market.

The best “athletes” – or at least the boldest – got to be team captains. Some honored and pointless ritual determined which captain got to pick players for his/her team.

Typically, in the first “rounds,” the caps picked their friends, so there was a social element to it. Eventually the process got down to the last two kids and the captains furrowed their brows trying to decide which ham-handed klutz would occupy right field (except when a left-handed batter was up).

Being picked last was like being drafted by the Oakland A’s. Humiliation was certain, but at least you got to play.

But that wasn’t end of it. Sometimes a top player threw a tantrum, saying, “I don’t want to play on that team; they stink.” Rather than blow up the whole game, some sort of arrangement would be struck, such as a shuffling of personnel or requiring a lefty to bat righty to even up the odds. 

This is sort of like trades and free agency.

Childish, right? But it sort of reminds me of the contortions that are surrounding speculation about Shohei Ohtani’s future. 

Rather than figure out a way to win with the players you have – to coach them to play better – the focus is on getting “new” talent, sort of like trading in your girlfriend for one you think will like you better.

Of course, back then, nobody had a girlfriend (or boyfriend) but you could dream or pray. Just like the teams (and fans) who think getting Mr. Ohtani is the answer to theirs.