DOGS are pretty smart, too (Shutterstock).

If you have fur in your carpet, clothing, car floorboards and sofa, you are part of one of America’s fastest growing clubs. If you spend more on grooming your four-legged permanent house guest than you do on your own grooming, you are in the majority.

If you love your dog or cat more than you do some of your relatives … well, let’s not go there …

According to Forbes magazine, there is now a boom in pet ownership in the United States. Sixty-six percent of U.S. homes (that’s 86.9 million households) “own” a pet. That’s up from 56.1 percent in 1988. Dogs are more popular than cats; Fido is in 65.1 million households, while Garfield lives in 46.5 million homes.

What’s the reason for this uptick in critters with ticks, fleas and muddy paws? They’re expensive, pushy, trip-hazards. I don’t know why we don’t just get them jobs pulling shopping carts in the Target parking lot (there appears to be a need to have that task done).

The reason why, of course, is that they’ve curled up in a warm place in our hearts.

Shadow, our incumbent dog – eighth in a series – is gladder to see us than almost any bipeds. He alerts us to any danger, including little girls roller-skating down the street.

Dogs are environmentalists; uneaten food rarely goes to waste and they even help us control our weight by begging (or stealing) part of our meals.

If you’re single, nothing stamps you more as a caring, sensitive person than walking your goofy dog in the park. A remarkable number of weddings have had their roots in such encounters (ever see “101 Dalmatians”?).

On cold nights, you don’t have to turn up the heat (and heating costs) because a dog will join you, snuggling up and plant his flag over about 65 percent of the bed.

And – perhaps most importantly – dogs (and some cats) are unlicensed mental health counselors. Feeling blue? Hug a black flat-coated retriever. Need some fresh air? Dogs are always ready for a walk.

Feeling unappreciated? No one is ever as glad (or at least, as demonstrative) to see you as a dog. They may knock you down in the process, but you’ll always feel better.

Having trouble coming up with a column idea? I feel better all ready.