The word commitment is an unsettling word for many people; but for me, it defines who I am; dependable and reliable. For as long as I can remember, I have always been the person that my family and friends could count on. However, lately, I feel as though I am losing control of this characteristic due to the overwhelming amount of responsibilities I have taken on, which, is causing unwanted stress and anxiety in my life. So, how do I follow through without letting myself or others down?
Ever since I was a young girl, I have had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to help others, which has consumed me throughout my life. Whether it was helping at home by cleaning the house, cooking meals, taking care of our animals, or helping a friend in need; I knew, that the simple act of helping would make a difference in the lives I’ve touched.
So, when the opportunity to have my own column was presented to me, I was intrigued, yet nervous, about taking on another commitment. Albeit, the offer was presented in the summer, during my down time, when my days were consumed with gardening, taking daily walks and bike rides, cooking meals, and lounging around the house. However, now that school and my job have started, along with continuing obligations at home, writing this column and the responsibilities I have with the multiple non-profit organizations that I serve, my head is spinning, trying to catch up. As you can imagine, finding time to complete all of my duties and obligations is a delicate balancing act, one that I thought I had mastered. Could it be that I finally reached my breaking point?
For the last two weeks, I have struggled to choose the topic for this week’s column and I convinced myself that I was not going to write one, after all, I have been overwhelmed and needed to give myself a break. So, I quickly penned an email to the publisher, giving an excuse for WHY I couldn’t write the next column, BUT, this decision weighed heavily on my conscience and after a few days of this gnawing feeling, I knew that I needed to follow through and complete this task.
So, in the midst of my numerous tasks and obligations, I have managed to clear the fog clouding my brain and focus on writing this week’s column. It’s not much, but it’s done, and I feel content knowing that I finished on time AND I didn’t let anyone down, unless, of course, you stopped reading after the first paragraph. I don’t know what the topic will be for my next column, but it’s time to get started.
Am’s View appears on alternate Sundays. Or on whatever schedule she’d like.