MOTLEY CRUE had a hit with “Smoking in the Boys’ Room” (Wikipedia/Bjornphoto).

Sometimes the most … wait, let me be fair, here … controversial ideas started with good intentions but end up biting us in the seat of our Levis.

It’s been reported that at Edison High School in Huntington Beach students are being asked to scan a classroom code if they are going to the nurse, library or bathroom (where, I presume, no one is actually taking a bath …).

Said students are “asked” to  take no more than seven minutes to complete their mission and then scan in again.  And no more than three voyages a day.

The stated reason for this “guideline, not a strict rule” was to track students in case of  “an emergency and monitor their well-being.”

Hmm. It’s been said that – barring jail or prison – the only place in America where you don’t have the protection of the Bill of Rights is in an airport. Try casually remarking at LAX while in the TSA line that you just saw a “bomb” of a movie and see what happens. Should a high school latrine be added to the list?

There is a long, mostly unsuccessful tradition of high schools trying to police what happens in “washrooms.” There’s even a song about it, “Smokin’ In the Boys’ Room” (Brownsville Station and later, Motley Crue ) about such a struggle.

It was enforced successfully, oh, about 2 percent of the time in my day. Now, it’s vaping. Short of video cameras live-streaming to the vice principal’s office (and you’d need about six “assistants to the vice principal” to make any kind of dent) it would be futile.

The main thing to consider is that students will likely quickly find a fistful of ways to get around such a rule, not including the smart-aleck sophomore who has a civil rights lawyer for an uncle. 

Trying to keep teenagers from stretching those “guidelines” past the breaking point will be like herding drunk cats.

There is an old maxim that’s been passed down from King Arthur through Arthur Ashe. Don’t pass a law (or rule or guideline) that won’t be obeyed or can’t be enforced.

Or in baseball playoff terms, “a swing and a miss.”