WHAT DO you do when you your boss promises you a raise, but then it never shows up on your paycheck?

Dear Marilyn,

I have just recently changed jobs, because my former employer never seemed to appreciate me, or any of the other employees. My best friend still works there.

A few months ago, one of the owners of the firm promised her a raise. She has still not received it. Every week, as soon as she gets her check, she looks at it, eagerly hoping to see the raise. It is never there. She has gone to her boss, and asked him several times why the raise is not reflected in her paycheck. He always makes up a dumb excuse. He has told her that there are issues in the accounting department, and that they keep making mistakes there.

   I know that this is not true. I used to do the accounting and payroll for him before I quit. The others in that department are very competent. I don’t believe he has told them that my friend has received a raise. What do you think of an employer that promises a person a raise, and then doesn’t give it to them? I think I should mention that my friend works at a law office!

I think that my friend is getting ripped off. She states that she doesn’t want to make waves. She’s not the type to be confrontational. I think that they are taking advantage of her. She did tell me that if the promised raise doesn’t come through soon, she is going to quit the job, like I did. Is there anything more that I can do to help her?

Signed, Best Friend

Dear Best Friend,

   No, there is really nothing more for you to do. The decision is up to her. I certainly would advise her to quit her job, as you did. Her employer is not being honest with her, and she should leave.

   However, that is her decision. She doesn’t want to confront her employer, and it sounds like that is the reason that they are taking advantage of her. If she really wants to stay, she should ask for the promised raise to be put in writing. That may be the catalyst her boss needs to honor his commitment to her.

   If he refuses to do that, she will know that he really has no intention of giving her a raise. Then, it’s up to her if she wants to put up with that, or resign. There is a difference between being non-confrontational, and not being able to stand up for oneself. This situation may force your friend to understand the difference.

Dear Marilyn,

A few months ago, I gave a guy my phone number. The guy seemed interested in me, so I put my ego on the line, and gave it to him. He has never called me. We work in the same office. He was my supervisor at the time. He said that he couldn’t date me, because of the office polices that forbid it.

However, now he is in another department, and he is no longer my boss.   So, in December, I asked him when he was going to ask me out on a date. His response was that he would take me out in January, when things weren’t so busy at work.

Well, here it is, February, and, you guessed it, he still hasn’t asked me out. He is pleasant to me at the office, but that’s it. My question is, do you think that he likes me? Or, is he giving me the brush off?

Signed, Confused Single Woman

Dear Confused Single Woman,

   If you really think that you have a chance with this guy, you really are confused. You are the one that gave him your phone number. You are the one that has asked him at least twice to go out. It is very clear that he doesn’t want to date you. If he did, he has had plenty of opportunities to ask you out. Leave him alone. This guy is not the one for you.

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