ON REFLECTION, you may be better-looking than you think.

Dear Marilyn,

The hardest part about being a female is the insecurities. I am 18 years old, and I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. I have not figured out a way to change that.

I am on the bigger side, but I am not fat.   My body is not the only thing that bothers me though. My face upsets me too. My insecurities have gotten to the point where I don’t really like looking at myself in the mirror. I avoid being in pictures when the family or friends are taking them.

   We live in a society where there is so much value placed on appearance. Social media tells you that if you don’t look a certain way, then you must be ugly. How can someone try to change the thoughts that they have of themselves? How do you learn to love yourself? I need to conquer my insecurities. Please give me some advice.

Signed, Sad

Dear Sad,

   The issue that you are feeling is shared by many people, especially young people. And it is not specific to females. Many guys are insecure too.

   You would be surprised to know that many people that project themselves as being very confident have many secret worries too.

   The first thing that you need to do is to focus on being a caring, loving person. Then, silently praise yourself when you do something positive.

   It can be as simple as complimenting someone on their shoes, or outfit. You are going to make a difference in their day, I promise you.

Go out of your way to help other people. That elderly woman at the supermarket may need assistance in reaching the top self. There are kids at the local junior high school that could use your help with those pesky math skills. You get the idea.

   Then, at the end of the day, think of the nice things that you did, and feel proud. Remind yourself that you are a person of value and worth, just the way you are!

   Do not let yourself discount what you have done. Don’t think “oh, it was no big deal.” Yes, it was.

   Please allow yourself to be in family and group photos. Believe it or not, when you are older you will really want to see them. And you may be surprised to see how nice you look!

   Finally, don’t let yourself be a victim of the media. That world is phony. You are in the real world.

   Search for true friendships. Do nice things for yourself and others. Focus on your accomplishments. You can do it!

Dear Marilyn,

I have been looking for a job for several months, and I have had no luck.

I had someone who works in public relations go over my resume to make sure that it is perfect. I carefully fill out every application and I seem to do well in interviews, but I am still struggling to find a part time gig. Unfortunately, most places that are hiring want someone with open availability. I don’t have that, since I am in school.

Do you have any advice as to how to really make myself stand out? And do you have any ideas where I should look?

Signed, Unemployed

Dear Unemployed,

   Wow, it seems that you are doing all of the right things. So, I’m guessing that you are looking in the wrong places.

   You need to look for a job from an employer that doesn’t mind flexible hours. Those would be amusement park employees, restaurants, and department stores, to name a few.

   Also, if you enjoy watching children, there are many folks looking for sitters that could hopefully work with you on the hours.

   As for the interviews, come prepared. Know a lot about the job that you are applying for. Make eye contact with the interviewer. Dress up a bit. Smile. Let them know how much you desire the job, and why you would be the best candidate for the position.

  Good luck. You will have that new job soon!

Dear Readers, please send your questions to Orangecountytribune@gmail.com. Please put “Dear Marilyn” in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!