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Dear Mari: Liar, liar, your pants on ….

SOMETIMES lying is just a bid for more attention.

SOMETIMES lying is just a bid for more attention.

Dear Marilyn,

I am a pathological liar, and I don’t know what to do. As a child, my parents always told me that I had quite an imagination, and that I would be a writer someday. However, I find myself turning my fictional tales into big, fat lies.

DearMarilogoMy day may begin when I go to work and brag about seeing Johnny Depp driving by over the weekend. In reality, it was a Johnny Depp look-alike, and I knew it.  Once I told my friends at work that a car hit me when I was little. The truth is that I accidentally rode my bike into the back of a parked truck.

My lies can even be as simple as calling sick into work, when I am not really sick. I am just lazy. I just feel like I need to embellish my stories. I get too caught up in my fantasy world. I do it to escape the real world. The truth is my own life is so boring and the stories that I make up are so much more interesting.

How can I embrace my imagination, and the same time keep myself grounded? I do know that what I am doing is not right. What should I do, Marilyn?

Signed, Liar

Dear Liar,

The first step in solving a problem is to admit that you have one. You have done that, so that is a good start. The next step though is to really want to change. I’m not sure that you really do. You are having too much fun.

   You enjoy being the center of attention. You enjoy people being interested in what you have to tell them. You feel that your own life is boring. So, there is your answer. Start becoming a more interesting person, and lead a more interesting life.

   Instead of making things up, talk about things that are true. Compliment your coworkers on something that they did at work, or something that they are wearing. Make sure that your compliments are sincere and true. Don’t make something up.  Go out of your way to help other people or organizations. See what you can do to make someone smile.

   Before long, you will still have folks to talk to, and they will be interested. You won’t have to be making anything up. If you do not change, your lies will catch up with you. You will not be trusted, and you will not be happy in the long run.

   Oh, and by the way, quit calling into work and saying that you are sick, when you aren’t. That is quite a different thing than embellishing your stories.

Dear Marilyn,

I am a sophomore at a community college. Next year I have been accepted at a local university, (Cal State Long Beach), and a college that is in Northern California. I would really like to go to the school up north. It means that I would get a roommate, and share an apartment near campus.

I really want to do this, and I believe I can make a go of it financially as well. The problem is my mother. It has been just the two of us for quite some time. She really does not want me to go. She says that she will be extremely lonely, and that it will be very hard on her. I hate to hurt her, but I resent the guilt trip that she is trying to lay on me. I’m sorry that she is alone, but I can’t stay home forever. What do you think that I should do?

Signed, Ready To Fly The Nest

Dear Ready To Fly The Nest,

   I think that you should go. Since you have been accepted, and you are financially able to move out, I agree that it would be a great thing for you to do. Let your mom know how much you love her and need her. Also let her know how much it will mean to you to have this adventure at this time of your life. Encourage her to join clubs or to make new friends. Then, go ahead and make plans to enroll in the new school.

   Good luck, and have a wonderful time. Make sure that you keep in touch with your mom frequently. Both of you will grow from this experience.

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