MAKING a big Easter dinner can be a big chore for anyone. Try helping out.

Dear Marilyn,

Every year it has been our family tradition to go to my grandmother’s house for Easter dinner. She cooks and bakes and we have many wonderful family memories of Easter at her home.

The problem is that she is getting older.   She is frequently tired. The family thinks we should have Easter dinner at our house this year.  I know that my grandmother will want to have the dinner at her home. She is so sweet, and we don’t want to hurt her feelings. But we think it is best to end the tradition, for her sake. We don’t exactly know how to tell her about the plan. We don’t want her to be unhappy. Can you me some advice?

Signed, Loving Granddaughter

Dear Loving Granddaughter,

   First of all, start with the direct approach. Just say, “Grandma, we’d sure like to have Easter dinner at our house this year.” Don’t mention anything about her age or ability to entertain at her house. You may be pleasantly surprised. She may be more agreeable to this suggestion than you think she will be.

   She too, may realize that preparing the big meal is becoming a bit difficult for her. She may accept your suggestion without any complaint. However, if she resists and insists that she really wants to have the meal at her home, then see if you can arrange a compromise. Offer to bring the main dish, or several sides and dessert. Hopefully, she will agree to this.

   Finally, if she resists that idea as well, and really insists that she would like to prepare the complete Easter dinner at her home, than I would respect that request and agree to it. You should then go to her home early that day, and assist with the cleaning and baking as much as you can. It may end up being a very special time for both of you.

   I hope that you have a wonderful Easter.

Dear Marilyn,

My boyfriend is the perfect boyfriend in every way but one. The only time we have problems is when he drinks. To be honest, I only have occasional “girl drinks” and I am not the type of person that enjoys going out drinking.

He used to drink quite heavily before we got together. He told me that he used to drink every day, because he was depressed. Now, he rarely drinks, out of respect for me. However, he does drink every few months or so. He drinks a LOT, and he becomes someone else. He is hurtful and mean. I truly don’t recognize him.

The next day, he goes back to his “usual self,” and everything goes back to normal until it happens again a few months later. Every time that he drinks a lot, I can’t help but want to break up with him. I don’t like the person that he becomes, and I don’t want a relationship with him when he is like that. I do not know what to do.

Signed, Confused

Dear Confused,

   It is my strong advice that you end the relationship. I know that it will be difficult, but it would be best for you. You are a person of value and worth, and you deserve to be treated as such. You deserve this every day.

   There is no exception that you should be willing to accept every few months. He should never be verbally abusive and mean to you. It is possible that as time goes on, he will start to drink more frequently again. Don’t hang around to find out. Even if he doesn’t go back to drinking more heavily, you should not stay with him. You deserve a guy who is always wonderful. Not a guy that only is when he is not drinking.

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