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Dear Mari: Are the nurses against her?

A FEMALE PARAMEDIC thinks that the nurses at her hospital might be working against her.

Dear Marilyn,

I am a female paramedic. I used to work out in the field for an ambulance company. I worked there for five years. Now I work in a hospital emergency room.

Since I worked in the field for so long, I know a large number of firefighters, paramedics and police officers. It is great for me, because when the come to the emergency room, I get to see and talk to the people that I used to run calls with.

Most of the people that I talk to happen to be men. And, being that I work in an emergency room now, I work mostly with women …envious women.

My problem is that the female nurses that I work with double my workload any chance that they get when my old friends come in. They make it a huge effort for me to chat with my former co-workers from the field.

As soon as a male in uniform walks in through the emergency room doors, these female nurses get in between me and whomever I am speaking with. It’s unbelievable!

These female nurses are so jealous of my friendships that they fail to realize that the conversations that we are having are about their families, and our mutual friends.

I know that these nurses think that I am flirting with these men. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. These men are friends of my husbands and mine.

How do I handle this situation? What do I tell these women? Any advice or suggestions that you could give to me would be very helpful.

Signed, Female Paramedic

Dear Female Paramedic,

First of all, are you sure that they are jealous of the time that you are spending with these guys? It sounds to me that you are busy chatting with your old friends when you should be working.

It could well be that it isn’t that they are jealous of you for talking to the guys. It could be that they are irritated with you, because while you are off catching up with your friends, there is work to be done.

If you are truly spending time talking to them during a break, or lunch hour, and they really are acting jealous, than that is a different issue. If that is the case, than you have a couple of options.

First of all, you can ignore them. You can enjoy your time with your friends, and not let them bother you with their dirty looks.

The second thing you can do is to invite them to join in on the conversations. Some of the gals may like to meet some of these guys. They may be waiting and hoping for an invitation.

The third thing that you can do is to talk to them when the guys aren’t around. Let them know that they are old friends, and that it is a real treat to get to spend time with your former co-workers.

Just make sure that the time you spend with them is not taking you away from your own work. That is not fair to them, and it is not what you are being paid for.

Dear Marilyn,

I am a 21-year-old female. I am a full time student, and I work evenings at a grocery store. We recently had our manager transferred to another store, and we have a new manager.

He is a jerk. He is completely unprofessional, and inappropriate. He is 38 years old and he still lives with his parents. He refers to them as his “roommates”.

He wears shirts that are three sizes too big. He takes off his tie and un-tucks his shirt when his boss leaves. He looks like a complete slob.

To top things off, he is lazy, and the lacks the knowledge that a manager should know. His communication skills are very poor.

With all of this being said, many times he stands at the front desk and stares at me. Sometimes he stands behind me and watches me work. He is in my personal space, and it is so frustrating.

Not too long ago, the bag boys were telling me that he was saying things about me that were way out of line. He told them that he wouldn’t mind doing a few things with me.

I’m disgusted and creeped out. I’m not sure if I should make a big deal out of this. I could really use your opinion.

Signed, One Angry Checker

Dear One Angry Checker,

   Please tell your manager’s boss everything that you have written in this letter. This guy is guilty of harassment, and he must stop this behavior. Don’t be afraid of getting him in trouble. He is the one that is wrong. You are the victim.

   Since he is such a terrible manager, his poor work habits will probably catch up with him at some point anyway. So, that is another reason to discuss this with the boss. He will either knock off the inappropriate behavior towards you, and improve his job performance, or he will be gone. Either way, this is the best approach to solve your problem.

Dear Readers: Please send your questions to: Include “Dear Marilyn” in the subject line.



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