SHOHEI OHTANI heading to dinner after hitting another home run (Angels photo).

“Konnichiwa,” I said to Shohei Ohtani. “O genki desu ka?” I asked him as we sat down for some dinner at the Azteca Mexican Restaurant on Main Street in Garden Grove.

Before we go any further, let me just mention that I have a rich fantasy life, and I daydreamed that I had all the cleverness needed to convince all-time legend Shohei Ohtani to stay with the Angels.

This is how the negotiation session would have gone …

Him: Koko ni wa yoku kuru no desu ka? (Come here often?)

Me: Uh… Mō ichido, itte kudasai (Please say that again).

Him: Nihongo o hanashimasu ka? (Do you speak Japanese?)

Me: Hanare nai de kudasai! (Please don’t leave!)

Him: Watashi tachi wa tadai suwatsu ta. (We just sat down).

Me: anata wa detroit de goutou sa reru desho u (You’ll get mugged in Detroit!)

Him: Ki wa tashika desu ka? (Are you crazy?)

Me: Dojas wa watashi tachi no you ni anata wa aishi mase nichi! (The Dodgers won’t love you like we do!) offering a hug …

Him: Hottoite! (Leave me alone!)

SHOHEI OHTANI in the old days …

Me: Dojas wa watashi tachi no you ni anata wa aishi mase nichi? (Do you know how hot it gets in Tampa Bay?) fanning him with a menu …

Him: Tasukete! (Help!)

Me: Anata wa saru koto ga deki mase nichi .karera wa stadium de 1,000 hito no juugyouin wa kaiko shi masu ! (They’ll have to fire 1,000 employees at the stadium!).

Him: Kore wa pressure ga ooki sugi masu !nihonhamu fighters ni modori masu !

(This is too much pressure! I’m going back to the Nippon-Hamfighters!) he storms out …

Me: Well, better them than the Yankees. 

Translation provided by Microsoft Bing. (honyaku wa microsoft bing niyotte teikyou sa re masu).