Beauty’s only pigskin-deep

THE NEW “Indiana Nights’ alternate uniform for the NFL Colts (NFL).

After a 4-12-1 season last year, one wouldn’t think that the Indianapolis Colts had maxed out on the ridicule they’ve have to take.

Not true. It seems that before stepping onto the turf, the Colts are already the laughing stock of the National Football League.

This week the team unveiled its “alternate uniform” which will be used in “select” games, which might be code for “depending if we get booed off the field.”

So, what’s so bad about the new duds?

The name is “Indiana Nights,” which attempts to support the idea that this team is going to be a hard-core, after-hours bunch of rumblers you’d better steer clear of on the gridiron.

However, the popular image of Indiana nights is more like a farmer sitting at home in his overalls, a piece of straw between his teeth and country music’s greatest hits on his cassette player

Basically, this is an all-blue uniform with a black helmet, and a “heather” fabric, whatever that is.

“So bad it defies description,” said one sportswriter. Another compared it to the get-up that a mid-level college football team might wear. Yet another compared it to the look of St. Louis Battlehawks, a decidedly minor league (XFL) team.

Probably, much of the blowback comes from resistance to any change from the classic, instantly recognizable look from the Johnny Unitas and Peyton Manning glory years.

Of course, nothing will quiet the hooting so much as a better season for the Colts. On the other hand, at least it’s not as bad as the 1997 Angels’ awful periwinkle uniforms which look like they were designed by a Disney cartoonist taking a break from “Beauty and the Beast.” Of course, come to think of it, a theme of that movie is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Maybe in Indiana, beauty in 2023 will have less to do with fashion and more to do with what’s on the scoreboard on Sundays.

1 reply »

  1. If anyone remembers the film “Diner” from the 1980s, the wedding is decorated in blue and white: Baltimore Colts colors. The bride-to-be also has to pass a test on Colt history before they can marry. This uniform is an abomination.

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