Arts & Leisure

Dear Mari: At least one job too many

THREE JOBS is at least one too many for this college student.

Dear Marilyn,

I am a 22 year old female, and a resident of Huntington Beach. I am a community college student, and I go to school full time. I also have three part time jobs.

I like the finer things in life. I always have. I like nice clothes, and designer purses and cute shoes. My parents bought these things for me in high school, but now they have told me I’m “on my own” when it comes to these things.

   So, I told them I would earn my own money to buy the things that I enjoy. They said that I could try that, but warned me that it might be too much for me.

I am exhausted all of the time. When I’m not in school, I am at one of my jobs.

One of the jobs is two days a week, and pays me the most. The second one has the most hours, and they are offering me more hours, but I don’t have time to work more. The third one pays the least, and I am only there one day a week.

I have one day off a week, and that is the only time that I can relax and have fun. That is actually a school day. I usually go shopping on that evening. I do enjoy that so much.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t think that I can continue at this rate. I’m not sure if I should quit one or more of these jobs. I have a feeling my parents will say “I told you so” if I quit one.

What do you suggest that I do?

Signed, Tired and Money Hungry

Dear Tired and Money Hungry,

   I strongly suggest that you quit one or two of your jobs. And, you need to go without the designer clothes, purses and shoes for a while.

   You need to get your priorities straight. Your top priority is to finish school. You need to figure out how much you need to earn for neccesities. Then, cut your working hours to meet those basic expenses.

   Material things are not going to do you a bit of good at this time in your life. In fact, it will do you a world of good to experience what it is like to do without things that you would like to have.

   As far as the “I told you so” from your parents, don’t be concerned. In fact, face the situation like an adult.

   Speak with your parents and let them know that you have made an important decision. Let them know that you are going to just work enough to pay for your needed expenses, and no more.

   Explain that your priorities have changed, and that you are going to focus on graduating from school, and no longer on shopping. I suspect that they will be very proud of you, and that they will support you in this decision.

Dear Marilyn,

I have a boyfriend who is very insecure in our relationship when I am around other men. He is the type that likes to let everyone know that I am his girlfriend, and that the other guys need to back off.

I, on the other hand, love to talk to boys as friends. I relate to guys a lot more than girls, and I don’t have many girlfriends.

When my boyfriend sees me talking to my guy friends, he gets very jealous. I don’t know what to do, because if I stop talking to the guys, then I pretty much will only be able to hang with my boyfriend.

This issue has caused several arguments between us, and it is very frustrating to me. I am not at all insecure when he talks to his friends that are girls. I trust him.

How do I make him feel that way about me and my relationships with my guy friends?

Signed, Like My Guy Pals

Dear Like My Guy Pals,

   It is very possible that you may not be able to reach a compromise here, and that your boyfriend is not the guy for you.

   Of course, you can try. Make sure that when you are with your boyfriend, and your guys friends, that you include your boyfriend in the conversation as much as possible. Focus on making sure he is not feeling left out.

Also, as much as you enjoy the time with your guy pals, you may need to limit the time with them, and not hang out with them so often.

   Finally, you can talk to your boyfriend, and let him know that you are more comfortable with guy friends, rather that girlfriends, but that he is the one for you.

   If these ideas don’t work, then you have to make a choice. Either you give up your guy pals, or your give up your boyfriend. A relationship with fighting and drama is not a healthy one for either of you.

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