Arts & Leisure

Dear Mari: A better anniversary this time

WANT A PERFECT anniversary celebration after a rough one? Here’s some advice.

Dear Marilyn,

This weekend is the second anniversary of the day my girlfriend and I made our relationship official. We are very much in love, and we are talking about getting married.

   Last year, our first anniversary was a disaster. I bought her a bouquet of flowers, and I took her to a really nice restaurant. The flowers that I bought for her turned out to be the only type of flowers that she is allergic to. She had never told me this, so I can’t take all of the blame for that. Still it was very disappointing to both of us.

She ordered a shellfish dinner, and later that night she had a reaction to the dinner as well. We spent the rest of the evening in the emergency room. What can I possibly do this year? I want it to be extra special. Of course, that’s what I thought I was doing last year.

Signed, Second Anniversary

Dear Second Anniversary,

   If your girlfriend has a sense of humor and romance, then I suggest that you make exactly the same plans this year. Of course, this time it should be a perfect evening.

   Hopefully you now know what kind of flowers that she is not allergic to. If you aren’t sure, don’t guess.

   Ask her what her very favorite kind of flower is. After she tells you, then ask her with a smile if she is allergic to them.   It’s OK if she figures out why you are asking. That’s part of the fun.

   Next, after a year of dating, I suspect that you now know what type of foods that she really enjoys, and where she really likes to go for dinner.

   Take her there, and I suspect she will be careful to order something that she is not allergic to. After all, she wants this evening to be special as well.

   Then, top off the evening with a romantic walk along the beach, or a nice movie. This time, I’m sure your anniversary will be terrific. Have a wonderful time.

Dear Marilyn,

Society today has put so much pressure on girls to look and act just like they do in the movies, or in the magazines. I try not to let it affect me, but the truth is that is does. How can I be completely satisfied with the way that I feel about myself when I am not a size two model?

I am a size nine average girl. I look pretty nice, but I sure don’t compare to the girls in the magazines. I try to be happy with myself, but every now and again I find myself comparing how I look to those perfect, size nothing, airbrushed models in the magazines.

Please help me.

Signed, Average Girl

Dear Average Girl,

   Please don’t fall into the Madison Avenue trap. There is a reason those so called beautiful girls are in the magazines and in the movies. It’s because most people don’t look like them.

   The advertisers want you to buy their cosmetics, or their clothes, or their shampoo. If they can get the readers to believe they will look more like the models, than they will sell more of the product.  It is business.   They want to make money.

   Please know that it is not a cliché to believe that it matters most what you are like as a person. Your smile, and your sense of humor, and your honesty are what define you.   It is not your clothes size.

   Don’t dwell on things about yourself that you do not feel are perfect. Think of yourself as a person of value and worth, just the way you are.

   You are not average. You are special, because you are you!

Dear Readers, please send your questions to orangecountytribune@gmail.com . Include “Dear Mari” in the subject line.

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