NUUK CITY, Greenland (Wikipedia).

A lot of people are a bit confused about President-elect Donald Trump’s rumination about taking back the Panama Canal, annexing Canada and buying or otherwise acquiring Greenland, which is not at all green.

There is actually a lot of history behind American ambitions north, south and … frosty.

The U.S twice tried to conquer what what is now Canada. During the American Revolution, American forces – thinking the folks in the land of maple leafs, moose and beer were as disaffected as they were – marched into the higher latitudes.

They did pretty well … General Benedict Arnold – before he entered the portal and switch to the other side – actually captured Montreal (soon to have an NBA team, it’s rumored) before the winter sent our guys back south .

We tried again in the War of 1812, but the New York militia, who were a big part of the American army, refused to leave the state, concerned they might miss a Buffalo Bills game.

The Panama Canal was a personal project of President Theodore Roosevelt. He wanted the canal as a way of allowing American warships to more directly move from Atlantic to Pacific (and vice versa).

When the Colombian government said no, we found some rebellious folks from Panama (part of Colombia then) to declare independence, backing them with U.S. Navy help.

Greenland is whole other story. A big old frozen island northeast of Fenway Park, it’s ruled by Denmark and has a population of 55,000, which is about the same as Fountain Valley.

So why would we – or anyone else – want that giant icebox? Here’s your irony of the week: as climate change melts the ice cap, Greenland will eventually become this big, livable territory bigger than Alaska and Texas combined.

It has a lot of natural resources now covered in frozen water.

So where’s the irony, Jim? Mr. Trump has called climate change a “hoax.”

So what will happen next? Who knows? All this unexpected stuff and it’s not even Jan. 20 yet. More history to be made, evidently.